So here we are, 12 years on since he was diagnosed and we were waiting for his surgery..... where does the time go? I don't think my memories have faded at all, that day was horrible.... my poor boy was starving, he just wanted something to eat and we had to keep refusing him because they kept scheduling his operation and then cancelling it. When we finally allowed him to eat, they turned up to fetch him for theatre but he couldn't go because we'd fed him.......

I can't believe he'd be 15 next month. He'd be studying for his GCSE's. Probably really tall, his voice broken and maybe even a girlfriend.

I was driving through town the other day and stopped at the traffic lights and it suddenly hit me how he'd been robbed of life.... all the experiences that life holds. It took me all my strength to hold it together.

I'll never make sense of what happened. It all seems such a horrible and pointless waste of life to me. I'll never get over losing him - as long as I live. I miss him every day......